My Son, Wesley
Where do I begin? At conception? At birth? No, a little further back in time. I was the product of older parents and was raised an only child. Both my parents had children from other marriages but they were all grown and on their own. So I had wanted a child for as long as I can remember.
Johnny and I married in 1975 and settled down to a life together, busy and working hard to make a life for our future. He decided to go into the National Guard and just a few weeks after being sent to boot camp I found out, we were with child! My pregnancy was ideal and Johnny had been home from guard training about 3 weeks when our son, Donald Wesley Carithers was born. I have never felt more complete as a person than the day Wesley was born! (We named him for both of our dad's). The time Johnny missed during my pregnancy he quickly made up for in attention to "the new man" in our lives. Our lives totally revolved around this little guy. With me an only child and Johnny the youngest child in his family, we had not been around childen a lot so he was our "experiment"!
And we loved the wonderful feeling of finally having a family of our own. Jennifer followed 4 1/2 years later and he adored his baby sister. That was always Wesley's nature, very nurturing and loving to everyone. He loved all sports, especially basketball and golf! And Jennifer was so good natured she tried to follow in his foot steps and participate in whatever sport he happened to be playing! When, Wesley was 11, I found out we were going to have another little girl! He ws just as excited this time as before. Not at all disappointed that the baby wasn't going to be a boy.
When Brooke was born, Wesley especially took an active roll in taking care of this new little person. (Quite a feat for an 11 year old boy, with playing on his mind!) She was a very happy baby and adored her brother and sister dearly.
And so life goes on for the Carither's family. As Wesley got older he decided he would rather go on vacation with friend's family than his family. Not that he didn't love us, just being with friends was "cooler". So he had not been with us on vacation in several years, when he decided to go with us on vacation at the last minute in August of '98. He could not get off for the entire week, so he was driving his car, to come back for work, mid-week. We were thrilled he was going to be with us and he was too!! Driving to our home at 4:30 on that Sunday morning to leave when his dad told him we wouldn't leave until at least 5:30! He came in the house and I was packing the cooler, he came up behind me, put his head on my shoulder and said, "Mom, be patient, I am growing up and I realize how important family is. I wrapped my arm around his head and said, "Wesley, I love you". The last time I would ever get to say that to him.....The girls argued as to who would start off riding with their brother, Brooke won!
We were almost to Columbus, Georgia on our way to Panama City Beach, when for unknown reasons he veered off the road, hit a guard rail head on and landed down a small enbankment. Sadly, Johnny saw the whole thing unfold in the rear view mirror......He got our van stopped and put the van in reverse and got back to Wesley and Brooke very quickly. Brooke was hysterical and Wesley was unresponsive. Little did I know he had suffered a massive head injury. She only had seat belt bruises and a cut on her foot. Thank goodness.
Help came quickly and got Wesley to Columbus Medical Center. It was touch and go for most of that day and the next. By Tuesday they decided he needed sinus surgery as he was leaking brain fluid. The neurosurgeon observed during the surgery, Wednesday and announced there was a closed head injury, which was promising for full recovery. We were so hopeful.....He was turning towards me when I talked, and even held up 2 fingers when the nurse told him too! They were just concerned he was not fully waking up. But, by Friday afternoon he was totally unresponsive and the decision was made Saturday a.m. to take him off life support. We donated Wesley's organs and 6 people are alive today because of his gift. And possibly many more can see as we donated his eyes, also.
His life was 20 years, and 2 months, shy 2 days. The ache will never go away, but I have had to accept the fact Wesley was put on the earth for a purpose and his purpose was fulfilled. He had not experienced a lot, but he had known deep family love, a loving relationship with his girl friend of 2 years, Betony. He experienced life at UGA and hitting a "documented" hole in one! To a golfer what more could you ask for?
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope in some small way you have gotten to know this wonder man-child of mine.......
Forever in my heart, Wesley
oxox, Mama
