"A Butterfly from Jason"
Written for Jason's Mom and Sister
By his Mom-mom Mullin
Patty,
Pay no attention to the grammar or spelling or the sentences that are too long - only read the words that are from my heart and soul.
I read those books I thought you might want to read, but it was not real, it was too far fetched even for me so I wrote my own book for you. If you have time, read it. It is not fiction.
10/13/03
"I Remember Jason"
"I Remember the Miracles"
I remember the day he was born how tiny he was and how excited the whole family was. Such a beautiful little boy. The first grandchild on both sides. His feet never touched the ground for someone was always holding him.
I remember him sitting on this giant log pile we had and how sweet he looked. And we took his picture.
I remember him and Kelly and Brandon at the beach one beautiful sunset sitting on the rock pile, and we took their pictures. A treasure to this day.
I remember the fishes he caught and how proud he was because Pop-pop used them as bait to catch bigger fish. I can see him to this day.
I remember the rides on the boardwalk and the smiles on all their faces as they came off the rides, and we took their pictures.
I remember Jason and Kelly and his cousins Brandon and Shawn sitting on the carousel horse we had in the parlor smiling for Christmas pictures.
I remember Christmas Eve and the pleading just one present Mom-mom, can't we open just one before everyone comes.
I remember the paper flying and the screams of joy as they opened their many presents one by one and we took many, many pictures and videos also; for which we are all grateful.
I remember the long walks Pop-pop took them on in the field and down by the creek. I especially remember the one down by the Skippack Creek when he was babysitting them one day. Such muddy children I never saw. My Mom used to say "Dirty children were happy children." They were happy alright.
I remember the big hay stack in the field behind our house. Jason kept trying to climb it and kept sliding off.
I remember their walks with Pop-pop to see the horses and the sheep down the street.
I remember him taking them to the little cemetery a few blocks away to show them where people were buried. They thought they were buried in the back yard.
I remember the Mullin Bowl where we let all the kids have the football and the thrill when they made a touch down with a little help from their uncles and Pop-pop. We all had a grand time and we took more pictures.
I remember Jason serving Mass and Holy Thursday being his favorite time. It was a big honor to wash the feet of the priests - he thought it was pretty cool.
I remember this beautiful boy as he grew up. He did all the normal things a boy does.
I remember the black eye he got and the ball they gave him. The one that hit him. That day we took his picture with his Pop-pop. He was so proud.
I remember the good times and some of the bad. I put them in the back of my mind for now. I wish only to remember the good ones.
I remember his first loves and all the girls he cared about. "He was a chick magnet" his Uncle Donie said "I think I'll stick by him and maybe I'll get one of these girls."
I remember with his one love they had a baby. He didn't know how to tell his mom so he went to his Aunt Michele and they both told her one day after work.
What a roller coaster ride that was. But what we got at the end of that ride was a beautiful gift from God. Baby Tyler Austin Cirafisi was born just as beautiful as his father. We took many pictures of Father and Son.
I remember what a wonderful father this very young boy became and how Tyler loved his Daddy.
He always spoke so soft to him saying "Tyler don't do that" "Come here Tyler to Daddy." You would wonder if Tyler would ever listen to him, but he always did. Again, we took many pictures, but not as many as we should have.
I remember he used to say Mom-mom, when are you going to get a new kitchen? You fixed the whole house up great, but you need a new kitchen. I said "Jason, you want me to get a new kitchen so you can buy this house when Pop-pop and I die and you don't want to have to put a new kitchen in. Jason just laughed and shook his head yes. Jason always said when he finished school he was going to make lots of money and would buy a big house. I think he really would have bought it, he seemed like he liked to come here. The taxes would have killed him though.
I could go on and on, but it was not to be for I also remember the night he died.
"I Will Never Forget"
I remember the phone call one terrible night in all our lives. You called and said Jason was killed tonight in a car accident - come as quick as you can. Dad and I dressed quietly. Dad not quite believing what you said. Kathy came into our room to find out what was wrong and started to cry. Not our Jason she said. She told her sister, Michele, Mom and Dad didn't even say a word they just got dressed as if nothing happened and left. Michele said we were in a tunnel. She was right. We could not quite believe what we heard and thought we must have heard wrong. When we got to the house, the police were pulling away. When we went in, we saw Patty and Maryann locked together in terrible sorrow. I said "My God it's true" and Dad looked like I never saw him look. He didn't know what to do or say. He just had this stunned look on his face in disbelief. Kelly was trying to talk to her Dad and could barely speak. Her sisters came and we all grieved together. A very bad dream, but it was all so true. The next few days you do things you never thought you would do for Jason. Picking favorite hymns, buying a shirt for Jason. Hoping to God we did all the right things to make it beautiful for Jason.
Your heart broke Patty and everyone's heart broke for you. This was a child who was loved. Kelly's heart broke as did his Dad's, his aunts and uncles, his Mom-mom and Pop-pop's, and his cousins, who couldn't believe they had lost their hero.
I remember coming home from picking the flowers and Brandon laying on the swing out front, his hands over his eyes, devastated and crying. My heart went out to him.
I remember Shawn, my tough guy, with tears coming down just staring towards the sky.
I remember the hundred's of people that came to express their love and sorrow for Jason. His family, his many friends, all the men he worked with, they came in their trucks and their work clothes. They introduced themselves to me and Joel who stood by my side the whole time at the viewing. I was Jason's friend they said, "I worked with Jason, and I am the President of Jason's union. I got him in he said. He was a great guy." On and on they came, the men from the Union.
I remember Jason's father, Jerry, holding my hand so very tight as we walked up the aisle to give the gifts behind you, Kelly, Michele and Tommy. I felt so very sorry for him for I could see he felt the same pain as you Patty for he had lost his only son too. So I remember the sad times, but I need to put them out of my mind. I need to remember the good times, but most of all, I remember the miracles. So for my daughter and granddaughter, I will remember the miracles.
I remember Tyler talking to Mr. Jack for about a month before Jason died and no one knowing who he was. We now know it was my nephew, young Jack, who died 11 years to the day that Jason did. Jackie came to help Jason become an Angel. Tyler also saw Angels the night he died. They were everywhere he said. Don't you see them, lots of them, everywhere, especially the great big one!
I remember meeting the lady from the church at the cemetery to show us Jason's grave. Just go half way down I'll meet you there, it's somewhere there. We went. Patty, Kelly, Mom and Dad. The lady came, got the map out of the trunk of her car and came over. She walked around, looked at the map, looked at you and Kelly, looked again and again and said "If you and your daughter would just look down, you are standing on your sons' grave. Jason picked his own grave.
I also remember taking this picture of Jason on the beach. I just spun around and just snapped it. He didn't even see me take it. We had it enlarged when he died to put out. In the background, there are two umbrella's one on each side of him. If you stand a little back, they look like Angel wings on him. We have our Angel.
Kelly needed $350.00 for her share of first months rent at college. Jason used to collect scrap from work and sell it. He had a bunch of it in the yard he was saving. Pop-pop put it in the truck to sell it for him and gave the money to Kelly for school. The amount came to $350.00. Jason's work again. You were at the cemetery praying for a sign from Jason to tell you he was O.K. A butterfly appeared over his grave and flew up high out of sight. You were given your sign. Our Jason is in heaven he is our Angel. He will always be with us. We can feel him. He will always be in our hearts and minds. We will never forget him.
"Wishes"
My wishes for My Patty and Kelly
I wish I could hug him one more time.
I wish I could give him a million more kisses than I did.
I wish his mother and sister and the whole family to heal, but never forget.
I wish I could find the right words to say to mend your broken heart.
I wish to take a thousand more pictures and a milllion more hugs and kisses to all the family we have.
I wish to treasure everyday with them. People are like snowflakes, the sun comes up, so beautiful, when they're here, but gone at the rising of the sun.
I wish all these things and more to my children, grandchildren, great grandchildren.
I wish your dad to have a long and healthy life so he can be there for you all when you need him.
I wish for you and Kelly to write down all of your happy memories of Jason so they are not forgotten.
I wish love and happiness to all and that you are there for each other, especially when needed.
Love,
Mom
